Yip. Here in Pflugerville, we got robbed getting right off the train. After spending hours in hospital we decided Mexico was what we needed & in orderly fashion proceeded to make our way directly into Mexico & into the company & arms of an enticing group of women. We hence spent many days within their enjoyment & company. We were delayed at the border for illegal crossing & were made to strip then forced to dance naked in the cell like a chickens while the Federali’s sat & laughed & sang La Bamba. Alas, thus we have been released & alas has brought us back to our original destination. Ah, Pflugerville, TX, the land of the great sun & giant pyramid.
It’s breakfast time now. We like to eat at a Truck stop but we’re searching for the Pyramid we saw in pictures & know it stands at the center of this great town they call Pfulgerville. Besides just being able to say it, Pflugerville sounds good when it comes out of your mouth.
80° in Plugerville at 8:46am & the fog. The breeze is nice but is nothing compared to the humidity. Let’s look for that Truck stop at the edge of the town as we make our way to the Taste of Ethiopia having come by way of Three Acres. Windmere take me home!
We found our truck stop diner. Wag-a-bag. Let’s see what they have inside. Convenience store. Let’s find the pyramid.
Excuse me sir, we noticed you conveniently had a truck stop diner shaped into a liquor store at the end of the town. Does this giant Trucker school have a diner window inside like Costco Kreuger where we may find hotdogs & pizza & soda?
Not finding much luck there, we have started our search again. We see they have a nice pipe factory here to keep the town watered. Unemployment would seem to be pretty low.
Our 1st shopping center. Like anywhere.
We have the Oriental kitchen, but they open at 11am.
Taste of Ethiopia, the tiniest, quaintest little place you may ever happen to see, but also, it opens at 12pm.
Let’s build some bridges!
Here we are, resting at a rest stop.
No pflugerville trip would be complete without a roll around in the dirt & grass & hay of Outlaw Paintball. & They’re open!
Goofing around & bouncing off the inflateable bumper busters.
Real army look & fatigues in the woods.
Covered in colors of paint from head to toe.
Throwing towel into laundry basket at a gym facilty. (Whooie! Yeehaw!)
Sitting in the child paintball area eating paint.
That was a lot of fun.
Lets’s get some lunch. We’re looking for Arizona Petes. Doubt we’ll find one out here. Swerving all over the road.
Well, we’ve driven almost around the entire circumference of Pflugerville & still haven’t seen any sign of the pyramid. (Points) but look! A water tower! Surely it must be a sign! We shall turn down that road as it will definitely lead us now unto the pyramid.
Rewinds. Finding the dance hall. ‘pretty small.’ ‘tiny.’ ‘yep.’ ‘yip.’ knocking on door. Woman waving hands & running from camera at door. husband says this is not the dance hall. I have a map. Right here on the edge of town. We want to dance our hearts away. Looks in window through drapes. Man, my god, just leave this place. We have a map? You are in the wrong place.
Driving. Laughs. It was on the outside of town. Fast foward. Story continues.
We’re in Cambridge now!
(Graduation music plays)
Driving through a quiet neighborhood. We can hear the rock & roll now.
Looks like we found the Amityville House II.
Nice park, let us be like George Clooney in Burn After Reading & go for a run. Images of running laps on dirt mile track. Dying of thirst. Trying to open gate to water structure. ‘It’s like a desert out here.’
Ladies & Gentlemen, Martha Lights Dr.
Sunshine evaporates & sky becomes cloudy & grey.
Drives then makes a u-turn. Driving past the water tower. ‘that might be grain.’
Keeps driving.
Car wash rock & roll.
Car washing & rock & roll, goofing around.
That’s nice & clean. That is spic & span. Like a whistle. Thank you Car wash rock & roll. Yeehaw!
We have one side of the town scoured, let’s see what is on the other side. Almost gets into car accident in intersection. I don’t see why they would have a picture of a pyramid if it wasn’t in Pflugerville.
Islamic Center. Tiny little place. Let us pray.
Bowing & muhamming.
Back into car & driving away.
Fire station. Dropping off cases of individual pints of water to the firefighters. Waving to mom & shaking the hands of the fire chief. We thank you for your service. Back in the car.
St Elizabeth Hungarian Catholic Church. Touches Holy water, inverts sign of the cross, gives the sign of the devil. Kneels to pray. Closes eyes & laughs. Rises giving middle finger to the crucifix & showing the sign of the devil after unblessing of inverted cross with holy water. Leaves. ‘I thought about Dracula.’ ‘I thought about Elizabeth.’ ‘Isn’t that funny?’ ‘Isn’t that swell?’
This pyramid is becoming difficult today. Let’s hang out at Walmart all day. Ok.
Asking people about the pyramid. “That’s in Egypt.” “Not sure too well you’ll find it anywhere here.” “Down south. Along the border. Big Mexican pyramid thing. We took our sleeping bags down there.” “I’m not so sure I have an answer to that one.” “I just got off the bus.” “I’m new here.” Japanese tourist bus & dozens of flash photographies.
That was uneventful. 2 days at the walmart.
I think we found the pyramid, we’re heading there.
Stops, gets out of car. Points at street sign. Rocky Creek. These are Stone Homes. Looks nice indeed.
Shit. That’s not the pyramid. Some great homes to rob & a couple of nice places to leave dead bodies; if we don’t find this pyramid soon, we’re going home.
Standing in a tree looking all over.
To the highway. Making u turns. On the highway. Mexico border crossing stop. Pictures of the mexican border. ‘This is only a short distance to drive & a long ass way on the highway.’
[Rule of the show now becomes if you cross city limits you have started the end of the show. Outside the border is outside of the episode.]
Rewind. stopping at border of pflugerville & tiptoeing with foot right edge of border, poking finger to edge of border as if electric, running slow motion to leap through border & tackled before border is ever reached. Performing mime tricks & dances on ground directly in front of city border, pushing mime across Pflugerville border & turning around.
Fast foward. Driving down highway. Exit off highway. Left. Right. Driving on illegal side of highway. Off roading to make the other highway.
‘This is it.’ ‘Yeah fuck downtown. Fuck the pyramid.’ ‘Let’s get the fuck out of here!’ ‘Fuck you, Chip!’ ‘Fuck you, Chet!’ ‘Fuck you, Todd.’ That’s Pflugerviller & we are gone.’ ‘ I can’t even say the name.’ ‘Shick.’ ‘Shuck.’ ‘Yip.’ ‘Yep.’ ‘Yet?’ ‘Yip.’ Life goes on.
Out the southern border of Plugerville. (This is the end) Hey there is a weedman on the map. Let’s check it out. Warehouses. In pflugerville texas. We’re south of that now. Fascinating.
At the archery range. A long solitary road provides for an eerie location & even lonlier archery range. There are some cows & a lake. No one is going to find us if we go alone into this desolate archery range. There is a really nice view. Camping for days & looking at the archery range. Roll credits & fade to black.
The end.
When I get old, I may as well retire & die.
godisdeadcomics 